Kermit is pressured into allowing Scooter to do a musical number with Muppy the dog. Guest star Juliet Prowse dances to a Scott Joplin melody.

When Fozzie overhears Hilda, Kermit, and Scooter talking about getting rid of that bear he thinks they're talking about him when in actual truth it's Gonzo's teddy bear that is being badmouthed. Meanwhile, Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie make a guest appearance in a musical number with Connie Stevens. Written by miss mazie

Fozzie takes on a new act - jokes on any subject - which drives everybody crazy. When he takes the stage, he asks for any word. Naturally, Statler and Waldorf call his bluff by yelling out Amoeba!

Scooter's uncle, J.P. Grosse sends a mechanical wind-up TV show host that resembles Kermit in every way. Soon, the duplicate starts harassing Kermit and flirts with Miss Piggy.

On stage, guest star Rita Moreno battles several Muppets including Animal who backs on drums in her closing number Fever. Backstage, Fozzie answers a string of rather unusual (and very funny) phone calls.

A young kid named Scooter applies for a job as a gofer. When, Kermit tells him he looks nothing like a gopher, Scooter explains that he'll go-fer coffee and sandwiches among other things he'll go-fer. Kermit says he doesn't have the money pay him, but then Scooter lets in that his uncle owns the theater. Written by miss mazie

The Muppet Theater is plagued by pig-related problems with The Bouncing Borcellino Brothers flubbing their opening act and Miss Piggy throwing herself at an uninterested Kermit, then later gets jealous at guest star Florence Henderson who she thinks is gonna steal her frog away. Written by miss mazie

Scooter talks Fozzie in doing The Telephone Pole Bit and Fozzie practices dutifully until he finds out what the bit is really all about.

When he's unable to get a spot on the show, Gonzo asks Scooter to be his manager. Scooter thinks Gonzo should do a rock act by banging a large rock with a mallet. Later, Gonzo tries female impersonation in a dress and a blonde wig. But Scooter gives up managing when Gonzo eats his contract. Written by miss mazie

Kermit begins to worry that guest star Harvey Korman isn't having a great time because he complains of being the token person on the show with all the dogs, frogs, pigs and chickens as well as the fear of hoof-and-mouth disease. So the rest of the Muppets come up with a solution: dress Harvey in a chicken suit. Written by miss mazie

Kermit cancels Miss Piggy's song for fear of overshadowing guest star Lena Horne. At least that's Piggy thinks, until finds out the real reason for being cut: he didn't want her to look foolish following Lena. Sometimes, the truth can hurt and not just for Piggy...Kermit, too. Written by miss mazie

Kermit becomes jealous when Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Hilda and Scooter rave about Peter Ustinov who later admits that he's jealous of Kermit saying that he's always wanted to be a frog.

Fozzie hatches a plan to get even with Statler and Waldorf when he does his act. But the bear becomes crushed when he gets replaced with guest Bruce Forsyth.

Fozzie performs the famous Banana Sketch by Gags Beasley which everyone (including guest Sandy Duncan) has heard of. Everybody, except for Kermit.

Fozzie brings a string of deliveries to Kermit which results in some real lousy gags driving the poor frog crazy.

In an effort to make Kermit jealous, Miss Piggy instructs Scooter to tell him that guest star Avery Schreiber is smitten with her. But when Kermit finds out it was all a trick, Piggy karate-chops everybody in her path.

Fozzie gets stuck in a trick cabinet owned by Marvel the Magician (who is in Toledo) and is left perform his act while in and have two pig stagehands tip the box over so Fozzie can take a bow. In the end, Fozzie escapes thanks to Crazy Harry who is having a good time setting off other explosions. Written by miss mazie

Aging wardrobe woman Hilda tries to make herself look younger by putting on a wig, some makeup and even some very tight foundation garments.

In honor of guest star Vincent Price, the show is filled with monsters, ghosts, vampires and spooky sketches. Meanwhile, a three-headed monster tries to audition for Kermit.

Impressed with guest star Valerie Harper's beauty, Statler and Waldorf argue over who will go backstage to meet her so they decide to flip for her. Statler wins and sets off to woo her with an African berry bush...which George the Janitor accidentally waters left to grow at a very fast rate. Written by miss mazie

Kermit is skeptical when everyone backstage is terrorized by the Phantom of the Muppet Show aka Uncle Deadly, a monster-actor who performed in the theater years ago, got panned by the critics, and vowed never to perform there again, and not to let anyone else perform either warning the Muppets Leave or be doomed! Written by miss mazie

Fozzie's agent, Irving Bizarre, arrives at the theater to negotiate Fozzie's contract with Kermit who ends up offering Fozzie ten times as much money - despite the fact the bear made nothing before.

Embarrassed at the square music that he and the others have to play each week on the show, Floyd announces that the band is quitting.

While the experimental mime troupe performs onstage, Miss Piggy must deal backstage with the advances of a recently smitten Gonzo.